Logic, reason and deep psychological problems displayed for your amusement

Friday, October 22, 2004

November 02 Alcohol Ban Called For

Bolstered by Alabama Mayor Thomas Menino's call to ban liquor sales in the Fenway and Kenmore Square neighborhoods during the upcoming World Series and prohibiting TV stations from broadcasting live shots from inside bars and restaurants during games, newly formed group Citizens for a Sober Vote have rallied to ban alcohol sales nationally on 02 November, 2004, election day. Citing what they called the "obvious drunkenness" of the entire Democrat Party, spokeswoman Dana Dillbank stated:" Just like with my uncle Jed, when ya got a drunk in the room sometimes ya just gotta take away their liquor!"

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Unidentified Drunk Democrat Lady

Calling the attempted ban "An outrageous attack by Karl Rove and Haliburton on our right to get black-out drunk and vote," DNC Spokeswoman Theresa McAuliffe further commented that "If you give these Satanic Republican plants an inch the next thing they'll do is take away our right to trade crack for votes!"

Unidentified Drunk Democrat Man Dancing

Commenting on the comments of DNC commentator McAuliffe, Ms. Dillbank was reported to have responded: "Jesus what an asshole."


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