Vetterworld

Logic, reason and deep psychological problems displayed for your amusement

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

You Do the Math

Key Issues has the low down on gettin' down with this unique equation:
This is a secret communication formula.
Once learned, you may communicate with your friends by simply using a number.
For example:

"Hey, Larry, how are you doing today?"
"Ah Joe, not so good. I'd say an 84 easy."
"That sucks Lar. After last night, I'm sittin pretty on an eighteen."
"Good for you Joe! Now, get the fuck outta here. Jerk."

Here's the formula: ((1 + A + B)/(1 + C)) X 5
A = # of times this week you've had sex with someone even though you really weren't into it.
B = # of times you would have had sex this week had the right person been ready, willing, able, and in your bed. (Although this is the fantasy variable, try to keep it real. This isn't how often you think about it; this is how many times you would have been both willing and able within a seven day period.)
C = # of times this week you've actually had mindnumbing sex with the person of your dreams.
Now, do the math.
For those of you who are rusty, allow me to assist you. Add A + B + 1, then divide that sum by the sum of 1 + C. Then multiply by 5.
Your product is a percentage reflecting your level of sexual frustration. Under 10%, either you're living a fairy tale or you have no libido. 10-30%, oversexed. 30-60%, average. 60-100%, sucks to be you.
(Exceeding 100% is possible under extreme circumstances, although more likely such a phenomenon results from lying embellishing on part B.)

No, you may not know my number, but it's right...


1 Comments:

At December 8, 2004 at 9:08 AM, Blogger Key said...

Thanks for the mention, hon!

Now. Spill it. What's your number?? ;)

 

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